just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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