Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
