We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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