I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i will never coherently bang her
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
