Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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