haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
