called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
