Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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