just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
and she was petting her beer can
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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