I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
