go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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