I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
