I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
