Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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