That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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