okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
