yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
