just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
