ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
