I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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