member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
