Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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