I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
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I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
