You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.