covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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