Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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