my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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