Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
