paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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