you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
