Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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