And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize