i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize