Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
