no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
