he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize