we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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