If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
