One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
