So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
