Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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