My liver just broke up with me...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
