I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
