i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
