Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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