It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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