I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
