i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
