help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she told me i tasted like america
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
