Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
