I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
