hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
