Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize