come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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