Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
