if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize