Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
