Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
