i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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