Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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