I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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