They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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