Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
