Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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