Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
In America we eat man semen.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.