dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.