At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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